the perks of being a single lady

Well. What a surprise. Being single is hard. Especially when it seems like ALL your friends are dating. Especially when you’re in your twenties and never had a boyfriend. Especially when it’s cold and you just want someone to bring you cookies.  Especially when people tell you to “just be patient.”

Well guess what girls.  There are good things about being single, too. So here is a handy list I came up with that you can look at whenever you feel down.  This is not to say it’s wrong to want to be with someone.  THERE IS NO JUDGING HERE. THIS IS JUST TO CHEER YOU UP.

This post will be updated to include more perks as I think of them or anything you guys share with me in the comments section. Enjoy!

ONE: BEYONCE

You can sing single ladies ironically in the car with your friends and secretly mean every word.

TWO: FRIENDS

It can be hard to keep friends when you’re in a relationship. It’s ok. It happens. So cherish the ones you have now.

THREE: CRUSHES

You can have crushes. Need I say more?

FOUR: FAMILY

You don’t have to meet his.

FIVE: FRIENDS WHO ARE BOYS

Sure, you can have friends who are boys while you’re dating someone. But it’s hard work. It takes effort to keep it in balance and everyone happy. If you’re the single one, you can have single guy friends. You can even have friends who are guys who have girlfriends, but it’s up to them to make it all work. [caution: this is not license to flirt with all your guy friends. their girlfriends will get wise and you will soon have no friends.]

SIX: THIS

if you know how, you can dance blues with whoever you want. it’s awesome.

SEVEN: JESUS

I didn’t want to throw religious stuff at you right away, but lets be honest here: this is a great opportunity to get to know Jesus, and to get to know yourself as part of his kingdom.

EIGHT: TRUSTING JESUS

Specifically, it’s harder when you’re single. But there are two reasons this might be good:

first, it could be easy to trust Jesus about your future when you’re in a relationship. and then to stop trusting him and trust your boyfriend instead.

second, insecurity often brings me (personally) closer to God.  Doubt is questioning and even questioning is communication.

NINE: LITMUS TEST

It is always true that men should treat you like a lady.  Take this time to find friends who are respectful of You As A Woman.  The ones who open doors for you, walk you to your car, say you look nice, and tell people not to cuss in front of you? And don’t expect anything in return? They are keepers. They may even be dateable.

[I should say more about this. I’ve never had a boyfriend, so this may be terrible advice, but I just want to say: Friends can transition, eventually, into more-than-friends.  It happens. Singlehood is a good time to make sure the friends you have are solid. Don’t be a bitch; be a lady, and expect the men around you to be gentlemen.]

TEN: PARIS

Just go. You need no one’s permission. Fall in love while you’re there, get your heart broken, come back and make me some wicked fondue while I listen to your sad but just-like-a-novel story.  Which brings me to…

ELEVEN: DRAMA

Come on. We all know drama is a little bit fun. It adds spice to life. But you probably don’t want it in a relationship.

TWELVE: JANUARY

Don’t shave if you don’t want to. Isn’t it great that no one cares?

THIRTEEN: CHICK FLICKS

Watch them ALL. Three times.

FOURTEEN: GARLIC

Just eat so much garlic. Onions too. You have to kiss no one. (but if you’re going out, brush your teeth first.)

FIFTEEN: NEW THINGS

Go try something new. Take a cooking class. Hey, remember when you danced ballet when you were four? Ever wonder if you would still like it? Go find out. Get passionate about something. (perk: great way to meet people!)